Thoughts on Strength

Black-eyed Susans: I love the wildflowers because they are just that-wild. Everyone has a black eyed Susan in their pocket. Its beautiful, thin stem, delicate lovely yellow petals. Like every being, it has a darkened center that can only be redeemed by the glory and the beauty of the delicate yellow petals surrounding it. It is because of this the Black-eyed Susan can ever really be lovely.  

So Stay wild. Stay strong. Stay lovely. Stay strong.  

Stength…personal strength feels like a deceiving thing and can only can be proven by measure. Do I have strength? Strength how? Strength of the mind? Strength of the heart? Strength of the body? Is strength really apart of who I am are or just apart of who I wish I could be?   

Because here comes the clouds. The Heavier days. They are here and coming still. 

Do I have the strength to let the raincloud in me weep and not drown? 

Do I have the strength to be angry but not sink into bitterness? 

Can I feel deeply and struggle well through any storm? 

 ...It sucks that it often takes storms for us to seek and receive strength. 

Either way, the storms are coming. Either way brokenness will show the the cracks in my heart. Here comes the clouds. The Heavier days. They  inch their way forward whether I can hear it or choose to ignore the smell of rain and the change of temperature against my skin.  

Mind the gaps. Look up. What will I do? What can I do? These are the times when strength is tested and I realize that I, in myself, never cut it. “I am strong, I can handle this” doesn’t cut it. ever.  A boat that floats in theory doesn’t cut it. I can’t depend on myself. I can’t risk depending on a boat that “may float.” 

So I’ll Be tested and molded. I’ll Be tested and stretched, I’ll be tested and moved, I’ll be tested and shifted. I’ll be tested and know. I’ll be tested and be assured. I’ll be assured that there is strength inside of me. Not because I am strong, but because I am given strength. It’s God a given muscle that is exercised. Embrace the fray. 

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